


She Who Remembers

by DarthEldur



Series: V(estra)/Goro [1]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, i dont know what im doing lol, its mostly the life story of my OC V to base more stories on, like vaguely hinted at, major character death (kinda), very very little mention of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29920347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthEldur/pseuds/DarthEldur
Summary: At the edge of her "death", Vestra remembers her life.Basically just the backstory for my OC V (Vestra). Its kind of like the foundation for more stories.P.S go easy on me, I haven't written in a while and I'm kinda rusty.
Relationships: Goro Takemura/V, V/Jackie Welles (one sided)
Series: V(estra)/Goro [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200287
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	She Who Remembers

Age 4 :

She remembers sitting in a white room with so many other kids, all around the same age, learning while some grown ups looked from the side in white coats. She remembers looking out of the window and wondering what it would be like to step outside.

Age 10 : 

She remembers beating Hades in hand to hand combat and looking at Dr. Yamamoto hoping for a smile, a nod, anything to show he is proud of her. But he hadn’t shown any kind of reaction, he just wrote down notes in his pad. She remembers looking out of the window at night, looking for stars.

Age 13 :

She remembers how her name came to her as an epiphany. The others had picked names for themselves already, but she never wanted to pick something impersonal, believing the right one would come to her. She always hated being called subject 5, so she picked V, the roman numeral for 5. At least it would keep the doctors happy. She remembers wondering what her mother would have named her. She remembers not caring about what the outside world would feel like anymore.

Age 15 : 

V remembers how heavy her arms felt with her new mantis blades. Her voice felt hoarse from all the screaming. The doctors had refused to give her any kind of anesthesia for the procedure. She remembers how scared Dren had looked when she came out of the room. She had probably heard her screams. V wanted to comfort her, tell her it would be alright. After all, the doctors were doing this for their own good, right?

Age 17:

V remembers looking at her comrades, her team, as they suited up. 12 of the original 35 that had survived the harsh world that they had called life. They were more mech than human-- an elite unit, and this was their first mission. 

She remembers enjoying the bloodshed, she remembers how satisfying it was to take a life, how much the feeling of sinking her katana into another person excited her. To hold that kind of power was intoxicating and she remembers feeling addicted to it.

Age 19 :

V remembers pushing Dren and Cryz into a corner in their barracks to protect them as Hades. Milo and Fenik attacked the others. Whatever the doctors had done to them had made them completely lose their minds and they refused to listen. V remembers how her hands shook after she sunk her blades through Fenik's chest, how she had held Hades and screamed. She remembers the Arasaka guards pointing their guns at them and how all that mattered was protecting the two that were left.

She remembers reaching towards them as she lay bleeding out in the atrium of Arasaka tower while Dr. Yamamoto gave the order to terminate them.

Age 22 :

She remembers thinking Arthur Jenkins was her savior. She remembers thinking how lucky she was that she was now free.

She remembers not even for a second thinking that she was just moved from one cage to another.

Age 25 : 

V remembers accepting the fact that she would never know what it felt like to be her own master. She remembers looking at Jackie and feeling jealous. She remembers hating her life. But she also remembers Jackie showing her Dashi Parade from the Japantown Market. She remembers seeing her first cat and petting it. She remembers riding on his bike across the highway. V remembers thinking that she finally understood what it meant to fall in love.

Age 27 : 

V remembers how tired she felt as she heard about Frankfurt. She remembers how her heart felt so heavy when he asked her if she was okay. She remembered feeling nothing but acceptance at the suicide mission she was given. She remembers the pain when her chrome shut down. She remembers the hopelessness she felt when she realised that she had no purpose. She remembers the joy felt on realising she was absolutely, truly free.

Age 28 :

She remembers looking at Takemura sitting across her at Tom's Diner, thrown out of Arasaka, his chrome deactivated, his assets seized, and she remembers seeing herself in him. She remembers the devotion to Saburo as a mirror image to her devotion to the doctors who raised her, and then her devotion to Jenkins. She remembers sympathising.

She remembers crying in her hella arch before Jackie's Ofrenda. She remembers how it hurt less after she went through his garage with Misty.

She remembers sitting with Goro on the rooftop across the industrial park, discussing his childhood. She remembers the flutter she felt in her heart while looking at him in the light of the sunset that Johnny scoffed at. She remembers agreeing to the idea of becoming nomads and ignoring the pang she felt when her mind conjured an image of them both beyond the badlands watching the sunset together, free of any chains.

She remembers sitting in the corner of her apartment on Jackie's birthday, a bottle of whiskey, drinking her pain away, as Johnny kept her company. She remembers Goro calling her to offer his condolences, and then just talking over the holo for hours about past acquaintances- much to Johnny's anger. She remembers going out of her way, skipping gigs, to help him acquaint him with Night City. She remembers trying to fool herself and Johnny into thinking she was doing this only because he was an important ally.

She remembers Johnny cursing up a storm when her heart fluttered on seeing him again after capturing Hellman. She remembers him slowly dragging her limp body to a room after she fainted from severe relic malfunctions. She remembers the panic in his eyes, the feel of blood on her lips, the taste of his lips. She remembers the heartbreak she felt when he said that it was not a good idea for them to continue.

She remembers the panic she felt when Arasaka had burst through the abandoned building. She remembers praying to whatever deity existed for Goro's safety. She remembers the fear she felt as she waited for a message from Goro telling her he was okay. She remembers the relief when he sent that stupid selfie, blaming it on the holo.

She remembers the freedom she felt on her lovely ventures with Panam. She remembers feeling at peace with the Aldecaldos. They had accepted her as a de facto family but in her heart she knew that she would never fit in. True peace was not an option for people like her.

She remembers coming home from the Pistis Sophia, seeing Goro in her apartment, hearing about how the tracker he put in her monitored vitals as well and how much he was terrified when her biomon had shown that she had flatlined and her tracker had stopped working. She remembers kissing him, relishing the feel of his hands on her, the silkiness of his hair between her fingers. She remembers how touching him and being touched by him had, for a while, filled the hole that she had felt in her heart and how it almost made her cry. She remembers laying on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and wondering how long it would be before even this was ripped from her.

She remembers thinking that the universe hated her as she sat on the rooftop across Johnny having to make the most difficult choice of her life. She remembers sending an apology to Goro as she loaded up her weapons to blow down Arasaka. She remembers thinking if he would be impressed as she puts the final bullet in Smasher’s head using Johnny's gun.

And V remembers all of this as she stands on the bridge that would take her across the blackwall into the unknown, to become the unknown, wondering if in any universe she could have a happy ending, a normal life. Johnny stands behind her, her soulmate, her best friend, and she recognises she would miss him something fierce. She gathers whatever courage she has and holds the broken pieces of her heart together to make one last choice. She sends one last prayer to whatever deity existed, if they even did, to protect her friends- and steps off.

**Author's Note:**

> Go easy on me guys, its been 4 years since I've last written anything....  
> Also a lot of thanks to the lovely awerewolf ( https://archiveofourown.org/users/awerewolf/pseuds/awerewolf ) for beta reading this fic


End file.
